August 4, 2011
Dear San Diego,
It's been a crazy week for me. My life has been turned completely upside down. I want you all to know, that I know without a shadow of a doubt that the Lord answers our prayers. I know that he knows my heart, and has given me a second chance to serve him. I have really been struggling here the last couple of days. I wasn't using my time very wisely before I left, and I have been wondering whether or not I'm prepared to be here. How and why did the Brethren approve me? My companion and room mates here are pretty rowdy, and its hard for me to focus. I've felt the spirit, but I've been having trouble feeling happy, and feeling that fire of missionary work. Right after I was set apart, President Morgan told me "Your past is your past", but i was still struggling over my mistakes and wondering why i'm here. But then a miracle happened. There is no other way to explain it. My teacher Brother Toone, pulled me out of class. I have only seen him two or three times now, and I am pretty quiet in class. I try to wait to be prompted by the spirit before opening my mouth, and i spend a lot of time thinking. So Brother Toone pulls me out of class and starts talking to me in spanish, asking me how my spanish is, and how I feel about being with the new elders and such. I told in some spanish some english that i had studied 2 years and school and worked in a restaurant with hispanics and such. But i was fine with teaching the other new elders, and that i just figured it was good practice for me to review, and preparation for when i would be training others out in the field. This whole time we are walking around the hall down the stairs... and I'm talking back in the little spanish I know. Eventually we end up at some desk where he says something to a lady, and she asks me to sit down, and starts asking me in spanish to tell her about my family, what i like to do, what i did yesterday etc. I answered in spanish, kinda wondering what the heck is going on. Then she tells me in english that she thinks i'm ready for an intermediate spanish group! I've been here two days! They want me to switch districts, residence halls and everything! On the way back up to class I told Brother Toone that i had been struggling to feel happy, focus, etc, and he said "I don't know why i feel like i need to tell you this, but when Satan reminds you of your past, remind him of your future." Kind of like President Morgan had said. I'll admit I broke down. I know that the spirit prompted him.
Leaving last year was the most pain I have ever felt, and has left a mark on me emotionally and spiritually. I'm grateful too for everything I learned and I know it was the right thing, but its hard now that I'm back to not be a little afraid or paranoid of it happening again. To know that the spirit prompted Brother Toone and told him that I was doing well, and ready for an intermediate group was just emotionally very powerful. I'm still not sure how its all going to happen, but my mtc box will change again hahaha. Wish me luck.
con much amor
Elder Nichols
